Hope for Homeschool Laziness
- My math lazy boy six years ago
I discovered today that I have been logging in to comment on blogs for a long time with a profile that connects people to blogs I haven’t updated in years. While I was dismayed by this discovery, I was delighted by another. I found a blog post on homeschooling I don’t remember writing six years ago. Here it is:
I am teaching my 4th grader long division. Every time I say it’s time for math, he stalls. “What time is it?” “Do you need me to watch the younger kids?” “Aren’t we supposed to be reading now?”
When he does sit down to work, he usually does handwriting instead…on his math page. He covers his paper with, “I don’t get it. I need help. I don’t know.” I remember learning long division. It’s the most challenging of the math operations to learn for sure! But my 4th grader is extremely bright and knows what is required to divide.
When I went over his work with him, explaining again and again what he needed to know, it suddenly occurred to me what the problem was. I told him that there was a technical term for the struggles he was having. I wrote it on his paper. L-a-z-i-n-e-s-s.
He smiled. He knew I was right. In order to do long division, you have to guess at the correct answer. Then you have to check to see if you are right. If you are not, you have to erase and try again. And you repeat this process over and over.
How many times in my life have I been like my son? I’ve said, “I don’t know how to lose weight. I don’t get how to exercise regularly. I need help to get organized.” Yet, like my son, I really didn’t need someone to tell me over and over and over how these things were done. I knew what needed to be done. I just didn’t want to try, make a mistake, and start over. The problem was l-a-z-i-n-e-s-s. I can smile at that.
Is it time to work on your problems?
The postscript that should make YOU smile is that this math-lazy boy is now in an AP class for Calculus BC as a high school sophomore. There is hope for lazy students and teachers.
Do your children make excuses for not doing their work? Do you ever search the web for more information on doing something you already know how to do? Or am I the only one?
Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! Proverbs 6:6
Keep ‘Em Hungry So They Can Learn
I think I learned more about changing behavior in my undergraduate psych lab training rats than I did in graduate school. We had the daunting task of teaching an animal that can’t speak (besides a squeak!) how to play basketball with a marble. As you look to your homeschool future, your task may seem just as difficult.
Before we did any rat training, we took one very crucial step that we often neglect in our homeschooling: we kept them hungry.
Well-fed rats aren’t motivated to do anything because they’re already being rewarded with what they want most. Rats that are a little hungry (not weak with starvation) are very attentive to anything that earns them a food pellet. The hungry rat that I trained with my partner very quickly learned to press a bar, peek through a window, swing on a trapeze, and yes, play basketball with a marble–all with no lectures.
Children that can communicate with us should be capable of learning a great deal more, but often they don’t. Why? They aren’t hungry.
Why Kids Aren’t Hungry to Learn
Today’s children are being fed a steady diet of things more rewarding than learning. Reading, painting, discovering, experimenting, acting, writing, computing, solving, and creating are naturally rewarding activities. But these treats can’t compare with the taste of electronics. If you’re meticulous about keeping your kids away from screen time, good for you! But if you’re an average American family, your kids still may be full on the rewards of a prosperous lifestyle. Toys, games, trips, treats, and entertainment aren’t just for special occasions anymore. Even if you refrain from giving your children too much, you may have relatives who fill the gap.
In a year, an average first-grader buys or receives 70 new toys.
A rat who isn’t hungry won’t be bothered to press a bar for a food pellet and a child who isn’t hungry to learn won’t be bothered to read.
How Can We Keep ‘Em Hungry?
I live in the same keep-em-fed world you do and I’m constantly looking for strategies to keep my kids hungry to learn. Here are a few that I use or would like to:
- Limit screen time. This has been my biggest challenge in a house full of boys. Lately the challenge has been having friends call or come over and want to play games and I cave. My plan is to let their friends know when games are off-limits.
- Limit gifts. When you can’t think of anything to buy your child (been there!), they have too much. I have made some attempts in this area, but want to be even more vocal about requesting time with people they love. Time learning together is a double gift!
- Say no. Deprivation makes the reward all the sweeter. Saying no is a good idea even when the request is positive. Rewards that are given constantly lose their power to motivate behavior.
- Make them earn rewards. If kids have free access to lots of stimulating, fun activities that have little educational value, motivation disappears. Educational games should be used as dessert, not the main course.
- Offer less appealing alternatives. Allowing my reluctant reader to choose between reading and worksheets has helped him develop a great reading habit. Use the choice between undesirable chores or busy work and the subject you want your child to focus on to keep her hungry.
- Let them get bored. Just like few people know what it’s like to be really hungry anymore, few of us are familiar with real boredom. To find stomach hunger, you may have to go without food for hours (or days!). To help your kids find true boredom, you may have to go without screens, noise, toys, or outside playmates. Consider making a day of your homeschool week a day of fasting from all these “fast-food treats” so you can rediscover how delicious learning really is. I’m definitely considering it.
they have become rich and powerful and have grown fat and sleek. Their evil deeds have no limit; they do not seek justice. (Jeremiah 5:27b-28).
I’ll be honest. I have some fat rats at home. I think my belly is protruding, too! Do you have any other ideas on how I can keep my kids hungry to learn? Just a quick caveat. I think it would be easy to leave our little rugrats weak from starvation, too. A little fun and game time gives kids the energy they need to get serious about studying.
How to Teach Kids to Defend Their Faith
There are a number of great resources for teaching apologetics today and what a blessing that is! As a Christian homeschooler who believes in a literal interpretation of Genesis, I am a huge fan of Answers for Kids. While it’s listed as appropriate for ages 8-11, I have used it comfortably with my five youngest, ages 5-13. Few Bible curriculums I have used are as well suited to multiple ages.
One of the best features of the curriculum for us is that it includes colorful graphics on the included CD that grab my kids’ attention. We attach our laptop to our TV in the school room so everyone can see. Doing this also allows us to quickly read the associated Bible passages online. I have my kids take turns reading them and treat doing so as a privilege to be earned once he can read. I have just one more child to go!
Another excellent feature of Answers for Kids is the repetition. We use a number of different resources for teaching Bible and don’t use them every day. The review is a refresher for the kids and me, too!
I consider myself fairly knowledgeable in apologetics, but I have learned new things as I’ve taught the kids. In fact, sometimes the kids have to try to get my attention as I start reading without them! This relates to why I think Answers for Kids is a great Motivated Homeschooler resource: Motivated teachers beget motivated students. If you love it, your kids are likely to love it, too.
Our duty as Christian homeschoolers isn’t just to shelter and protect, but also to equip them to defend their faith.
Finally, this curriculum addresses the challenges to faith our kids are likely to encounter in the future. Answers for Kids is an excellent elementary to junior high weapon for spiritual warfare. Answers in Genesis has a number of other materials I would recommend.
What resources do you use to teach apologetics?
Can Your School Teach Itself?
I blogged about the book, The House That Cleans Itself, on Wonder Women and the great impact it had on my housekeeping and filing systems. Lately I’ve been wondering if the principles of the book can be applied to homeschool motivation. I think it can!
The most powerful idea in Mindy Starns Clark’s book for me was the idea of working with what is rather than what we wish it were (I love alliteration, don’t you?). This concept enabled me to let go of the idea that I would ever be a meticulous filer. Instead I worked with what I am, which is a file digger. By filing everything in broad categories into large Pendaflex files by time (most recent folders in front), I’ve been able to find things but haven’t had the stress of the massive to-file pile. I then used this notion to help me find a solution to the kids’ bathroom disaster.
My homeschool isn’t teaching itself yet, but I definitely have some ideas that could move it in that direction.
What I Wish
- We were early morning homeschoolers
- We could get all our school done before lunch
- The kids would do more work independently
- I had more energy at certain times than I do
Working With What Is
- We start school later now to accommodate later bedtimes. The bonus is I get more morning time alone which is my optimal work time.
- We do the fun stuff after lunch. The kids bug me to do it which motivates me to keep working into the afternoon.
- I work with the kids on stuff they would otherwise resist on their own (that’s the joy of homeschooling, right?).
- I quit scheduling anything for those times when I know I’ll be too tired and got rid of guilt.
Stop Fighting and Start Flourishing!
Making it Work for You
Start by making a list of the aspects of your school that have been very resistant to change. Next, imagine that those things won’t change (depressing, I know). Finally, decide what you can do to make your homeschool run more smoothly, despite those less-than-optimal students and teacher(s).
It may take a while for you to find satisfactory solutions, but the process will be much easier when you let go of those wishes and start working with what is.
P.S. This process works with personal goals, too! Give it a try and let me know what happens.
How to Teach Math Facts Fast
I think I have tried just about everything to teach my kids their math facts–flash cards, repetitive curriculum, electronics, games, pictures, and software. The problem isn’t so much teaching them as it is the kids retaining them.
While I am happy with my current math curriculum, I decided to give Learn Math Fast a try. The basic setup for book one is:
- Teaching using money
- A worksheet on the facts
- A timed test on the facts
Competition Can Motivate
My children are competitive. While I know many homeschoolers arent wild about competition, I have seen the value of it in teaching–even when the only way you are competing is with yourself.
I time each of the kids with my iPhone (it’s my version of a Swiss Army knife). They know when their siblings have completed the test under the time limit. They also know how much time they have to shave off to come in under the time limit set in the book.
Rewards Can Motivate
Yep! Learning is self-motivating, but offering my kids a small reward for passing the timed test has them begging me to learn their math facts. Not even the math video games they’ve played have had that effect. The combination of competition and rewards has been a winner for me.
The Results?
My kindergartner and second grader know their addition and subtraction facts cold. The upper elementary kids are making progress on multiplication and division. I expect them to really get them down when their younger siblings start learning them.
When it comes to motivating kids, timed tests, competitions, and rewards can be very effective!
Do you want to give Learn Math Fast a try or could you get the same results using your current curriculum or flash cards? Do you have any tried-and-true tips?
Manage Your Expectations to Have More Fun
The freedom to homeschool our children is a gift. But sometimes I’ve been disappointed with this gift. How about you?
I have been certain that my homeschooled children would:
- Have no difficulty learning
- Be motivated to complete school each day
- Take pride in cleaning and caring for their belongings
- Be ahead of their same-age peers academically
- Have a strong faith
- Not be peer dependent, but Christian leaders
- Would get along
- Agree with me and my husband politically and spiritually
- Not engage in immoral behavior
- Be respectful and first-time obedient, especially in others’ presence
- Always want to be homeschooled
- Not want to date until they were ready to get married
- Be capable of adult responsibilities by age 12
- Not want to go to a secular college far away
To summarize, I expected my children not to behave like “other children” and to make me look good. Go ahead and laugh. You already know that my expectations are ridiculous because we can always see the problem with others’ attitudes. Our own unreasonable expectations are another story.
After more than twelve years of homeschooling and the opportunity to witness the disappointment of many dedicated, godly homeschooling parents, I now know that our children aren’t the problem–our expectations are. Invariably, when new homeschoolers ask me about their children’s lack of motivation, I discover unreasonable expectations at the source of it.
When we lay our homeschool hopes and dreams on God’s altar, we discover that we love the gift God has given us in homeschooling. Little Johnny may not be the most focused student, but he is really, really funny. Teenage Susie may not see things the way you do, but she will not be brainwashed by anyone. The kids may not be making you look good in the world’s eyes, but God thinks they’re making you look a lot more like Jesus. And that’s exactly what I wanted. How about you?
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27
Welcome! I pray that you will leave here motivated to get school done (while still having fun). Because that's also my goal as a busy mom of six, I'm committed to updating this blog weekly. Thanks for sharing the resources here with others and motivating me with comments. You're a blessing!
Dr. Melanie Wilson
