How To Motivate

How to Motivate Reluctant Readers

 

I keep hearing from moms whose kids don’t like to read or don’t read as much as their mothers hope. Why the concern?

The Problem With Kids Who Don’t Read

The main cause for concern with kids who would rather do anything else but read is that they won’t become proficient readers without enough time with their noses in books. Kids who can’t read well tend to do very poorly in life, no matter how you measure. That’s why literacy is a high priority for schools and it’s a high priority for homeschooling moms, too.

While there are audio and even visual Bibles, the most accessible way to take in God’s Word is to read it. As a Christian homeschooler, I hope that my children will have the reading skills they need to read the Bible and the will to read it, too, especially when they leave home. A lesser concern where reading is concerned is our desire to have adult children who read for pleasure. Reading is a great hobby that we want to pass on!

What if Your Child Would Rather Do Anything But Read?

Assess His Abilities

Most of the time, children who are reluctant to read find it challenging. Does your child have a visual impairment, attention deficits, or a learning disability that makes reading more work? Does she need to learn to read in a different way? My reluctant reader could not learn to read phonetically, though his three older siblings did. Once I let him learn to read using sight words (or a whole language approach), his reading took off. You may need an evaluation of your child, but read the rest of my suggestions first.

Ease Your Expectations

Because so much is riding on reading, we homeschoolers can overreact to any child who isn’t reading at grade level or just doesn’t like to read. I have heard numerous testimonies of children who were late readers but caught up with or exceeded their same age peers. I can tell you numerous similar stories of people who didn’t like to read as children, but are avid readers as adults. My husband, pictured above, is a great example. He seriously read Gone With the Wind just because he wanted to! When we are fearful, we can easily become impatient and even angry about reading. Our children pick up on our attitudes easily and soon you’re in a battle of wills or you’re dealing with a child who gives up because she feels she’s not a good reader.

Keep Reading to Your Child

I didn’t understand for a long time the incredible value of reading to children in terms of building a child’s reading skills. When you read books out loud that are above your child’s reading level, he is building a vocabulary that will enable his reading to take off when he’s developmentally ready. For example, if you read a word like appreciate out loud, even if your child doesn’t see the word, when she comes to it in a book one day, she’ll sound out uh-pr–appreciate. She will recognize the word easily from a few phonics and the context. Don’t have the time to read out loud as much as you’d like? Consider a Disney Interactive Books or Audible subscription so your child can be read to any time.

Make Reading Easy

My husband represents Capstone Publishers that has succeeded in large part because of its focus on creating high-interest, easy-to-read books–especially for boys. No longer are readers who are “behind grade level” saddled with baby books. There are easy-to-read books on nearly every subject. Graphic novels (like comic books in novel form) are particularly appealing to boys. Calvin and Hobbes (not a Capstone title) has gotten many a boy, including mine, to love reading. You can find this book and Capstone titles at a library near you.  I recommend giving your child a book at or below his reading level and telling him, “I’m not sure if this is too difficult for you or not. Let me know, okay, and I’ll find one that’s easier.” What this does is help your child save face if it is in fact too hard, but more likely your child will be thrilled to tell you that it’s soooo easy to read! When your child’s confidence is up, motivating her is easy, too.

Make Reading Rewarding

There are lots of great ways to make reading fun. Here are a few of my favorites:

  • Keep a steady supply of new books coming into your home. I’m married to a book salesman and new boxes of books are a source of Christmas-like excitement. You can create that kind of environment by regularly getting books from the library, Goodwill, or Paperbackswap. Ask any school librarian and she will tell you that she has to keep a steady supply of new books on the shelves to appeal to reluctant readers.
  • Offer a reward. My husband has often offered a shake for a certain number of books read. Lots of reading goes on at those times. While you wouldn’t want your child to expect a treat every time he reads, an occasional reward will help her see reading as the real reward.
  • Connect books to movies or games. Whether you offer to let your child see the movie version or play the related video game of a book before or after reading the book, this multimedia approach has been proven to promote reading.
  • Let your child express his creativity around a book. My kids love to dramatize books for the family. Your child may enjoy doing show and tell about her favorite book, drawing pictures to go with it, or competing in a quiz bowl with a sibling who has read the same book.

Have you been able to motivate a reluctant reader? What worked?

The Fred Factor: The Motivating Power of Doing More Than What’s Expected


There are people who have impacted my life simply because they have gone above and beyond their duty. They are ordinary people whose humble service and love for others have impressed me more than anything fame, money, or position could do. The Fred Factor calls these kinds of people Freds, after a postal serviceman who went far beyond the ordinary to excellence.

Freds I’ve Met

I met Freds in an oil changing shop one afternoon. I was given a flower, had the car door held open for me, and was treated like a princess. I’m sure those Freds had no idea how profoundly impacted I was by their kindness. I cried all the way home because life hadn’t been treating me like a lady then. I met Freds at church. Two of them invited me into their home to share a delicious homemade lunch many Sundays when I was in college. The gentleman in this home handled all of my car repairs for me, making sure that he either paid for them himself or got me the absolute best price possible. Another couple of Freds invited me into their home to live when my college roommate situation wasn’t working out. I meet Freds all the time. I have a waitress who helps my children cut up their food. I have homeschool friends who come to my home for co-op who clean without being asked and jump in to help with projects that have nothing to do with homeschooling. A homeschool author read So You’re Not Wonder Womanand started promoting it on her website.

The Fred I Want to Be

I want to be someone else’s Fred. Why? Because it’s the true measure of greatness. Say Good-bye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes calls being a Fred ‘honor.’ It’s doing more than what’s expected. The Bible calls being a Fred a servant.

The greatest among you will be your servant. (Matthew 23:11)

I realized in reading the Fred Factor that I rarely seek to be a Fred in my own home. That needs to change. I can have the greatest impact with the people I love most. That means that I am not just getting by or doing the quickest, easiest thing. It means I am giving my best for the service of my family and the glory of God.

The Freds I Want My Children to Be

Talk with your children about the Freds you’ve met. Tell them what a great impact they have had on you. Read the Scripture about what it means to be the greatest in the kingdom of God. Then discuss what they could do to be Freds in your family, in your church, and your world.

What Freds have made the biggest impact in your life and why?

Teach to Learn

After teaching my daughter the Learn Math Fast method for subtracting single digit numbers, my daughter came up with this slightly different approach. Of course, we want kids to have these math facts memorized, but in the meantime, it’s helpful for them to have a quick method for solving the problems.

Without any prompting from me, my daughter started teaching her younger brother and her friend “her method” for subtracting single digit numbers. She was so excited about math! Why? I would argue that she feels competent. We are always more motivated to pursue activities we feel capable in. If your child is struggling in a subject, have him teach someone who is behind him in ability. Or consider letting your child make a YouTube video!

The added benefit of letting your child teach is the learners get motivated, too. My daughter’s friend was very excited about this math method and the video they made of it. You still have time to enter the Learn Math Fast giveaway!

Have you had success having your child teach a subject? Tell us about it!

Keep ‘Em Hungry So They Can Learn

 

I think I learned more about changing behavior in my undergraduate psych lab training rats than I did in graduate school. We had the daunting task of teaching an animal that can’t speak (besides a squeak!) how to play basketball with a marble. As you look to your homeschool future, your task may seem just as difficult.

Before we did any rat training, we took one very crucial step that we often neglect in our homeschooling: we kept them hungry.

Well-fed rats aren’t motivated to do anything because they’re already being rewarded with what they want most. Rats that are a little hungry (not weak with starvation) are very attentive to anything that earns them a food pellet. The hungry rat that I trained with my partner very quickly learned to press a bar, peek through a window, swing on a trapeze, and yes, play basketball with a marble–all with no lectures.

Children that can communicate with us should be capable of learning a great deal more, but often they don’t. Why? They aren’t hungry.

Why Kids Aren’t Hungry to Learn

Today’s children are being fed a steady diet of things more rewarding than learning. Reading, painting, discovering, experimenting, acting, writing, computing, solving, and creating are naturally rewarding activities. But these treats can’t compare with the taste of electronics. If you’re meticulous about keeping your kids away from screen time, good for you! But if you’re an average American family, your kids still may be full on the rewards of a prosperous lifestyle. Toys, games, trips, treats, and entertainment aren’t just for special occasions anymore. Even if you refrain from giving your children too much, you may have relatives who fill the gap.

In a year, an average first-grader buys or receives 70 new toys.

A rat who isn’t hungry won’t be bothered to press a bar for a food pellet and a child who isn’t hungry to learn won’t be bothered to read.

How Can We Keep ‘Em Hungry?

I live in the same keep-em-fed world you do and I’m constantly looking for strategies to keep my kids hungry to learn. Here are a few that I use or would like to:

  • Limit screen time. This has been my biggest challenge in a house full of boys. Lately the challenge has been having friends call or come over and want to play games and I cave. My plan is to let their friends know when games are off-limits.
  • Limit gifts. When you can’t think of anything to buy your child (been there!), they have too much. I have made some attempts in this area, but want to be even more vocal about requesting time with people they love. Time learning together is a double gift!
  • Say no. Deprivation makes the reward all the sweeter. Saying no is a good idea even when the request is positive. Rewards that are given constantly lose their power to motivate behavior.
  • Make them earn rewards. If kids have free access to lots of stimulating, fun activities that have little educational value, motivation disappears. Educational games should be used as dessert, not the main course.
  • Offer less appealing alternatives. Allowing my reluctant reader to choose between reading and worksheets has helped him develop a great reading habit. Use the choice between undesirable chores or busy work and the subject you want your child to focus on to keep her hungry.
  • Let them get bored. Just like few people know what it’s like to be really hungry anymore, few of us are familiar with real boredom. To find stomach hunger, you may have to go without food for hours (or days!). To help your kids find true boredom, you may have to go without screens, noise, toys, or outside playmates. Consider making a day of your homeschool week a day of fasting from all these “fast-food treats” so you can rediscover how delicious learning really is. I’m definitely considering it.

they have become rich and powerful and have grown fat and sleek. Their evil deeds have no limit; they do not seek justice. (Jeremiah 5:27b-28).

 

I’ll be honest. I have some fat rats at home. I think my belly is protruding, too! Do you have any other ideas on how I can keep my kids hungry to learn? Just a quick caveat. I think it would be easy to leave our little rugrats weak from starvation, too. A little fun and game time gives kids the energy they need to get serious about studying.

 

Can Your School Teach Itself?

 

Photo Credit

I blogged about the book, The House That Cleans Itself, on Wonder Women and the great impact it had on my housekeeping and filing systems.  Lately I’ve been wondering if the principles of the book can be applied to homeschool motivation. I think it can!

The most powerful idea in Mindy Starns Clark’s book for me was the idea of working with what is rather than what we wish it were (I love alliteration, don’t you?). This concept enabled me to let go of the idea that I would ever be a meticulous filer. Instead I worked with what I am, which is a file digger. By filing everything in broad categories into large Pendaflex files by time (most recent folders in front), I’ve been able to find things but haven’t had the stress of the massive to-file pile. I then used this notion to help me find a solution to the kids’ bathroom disaster.

My homeschool isn’t teaching itself yet, but I definitely have some ideas that could move it in that direction.

What I Wish

  • We were early morning homeschoolers
  • We could get all our school done before lunch
  • The kids would do more work independently
  • I had more energy at certain times than I do

Working With What Is

  • We start school later now to accommodate later bedtimes. The bonus is I get more morning time alone which is my optimal work time.
  • We do the fun stuff after lunch. The kids bug me to do it which motivates me to keep working into the afternoon.
  • I work with the kids on stuff they would otherwise resist on their own (that’s the joy of homeschooling, right?).
  • I quit scheduling anything for those times when I know I’ll be too tired and got rid of guilt.

Stop Fighting and Start Flourishing!

Making it Work for You

Start by making a list of the aspects of your school that have been very resistant to change. Next, imagine that those things won’t change (depressing, I know). Finally, decide what you can do to make your homeschool run more smoothly, despite those less-than-optimal students and teacher(s).

It may take a while for you to find satisfactory solutions, but the process will be much easier when you let go of those wishes and start working with what is.

P.S. This process works with personal goals, too! Give it a try and let me know what happens.

How to Teach Math Facts Fast

I think I have tried just about everything to teach my kids their math facts–flash cards, repetitive curriculum, electronics, games, pictures, and software. The problem isn’t so much teaching them as it is the kids retaining them.

While I am happy with my current math curriculum, I decided to give Learn Math Fast a try. The basic setup for book one is:

  • Teaching using money
  • A worksheet on the facts
  • A timed test on the facts

Competition Can Motivate

My children are competitive. While I know many homeschoolers arent wild about competition, I have seen the value of it in teaching–even when the only way you are competing is with yourself.

I time each of the kids with my iPhone (it’s my version of a Swiss Army knife). They know when their siblings have completed the test under the time limit. They also know how much time they have to shave off to come in under the time limit set in the book.

Rewards Can Motivate

Yep! Learning is self-motivating, but offering my kids a small reward for passing the timed test has them begging me to learn their math facts. Not even the math video games they’ve played have had that effect. The combination of competition and rewards has been a winner for me.

The Results?

My kindergartner and second grader know their addition and subtraction facts cold. The upper elementary kids are making progress on multiplication and division. I expect them to really get them down when their younger siblings start learning them.

When it comes to motivating kids, timed tests, competitions, and rewards can be very effective!

Do you want to give Learn Math Fast a try or could you get the same results using your current curriculum or flash cards? Do you have any tried-and-true tips?

Motivate With Learning

This website is dedicated to motivating learning. But I would argue that learning is intrinsically motivating and I bet you agree with me.

The homeschool subjects that I have no trouble motivating myself to teach are those that enable me to learn along with my children. In fact, when I learn something new, I often become so enthralled that I begin telling others about it and surfing the web to learn more. In the process, I sometimes forget about my children’s education completely! They will ask me questions about the new exciting subject and I may put them off until my own curiosity is satisfied. My bad. But aren’t we hoping to motivate our children to be that kind of lifelong learner?

For this reason, Mystery of History is one of my favorite resources. Somehow, in all my years of education, I never learned world history. Because I didn’t, each and every lesson is new and exciting for me. Even if I had no children to teach at home, I would read these fantastic volumes. They fascinate me! Sometimes I have to keep from reading ahead.

You may be thinking, “That’s nice for you, Melanie, but what does this have to do with motivation?” Well, notice that the only reason I am so motivated to study history is because I am learning something new. I don’t think I’m that unusual. Okay, I AM unusual, but not in that way. People naturally love to learn new things. For example, what are your children most interested in: playing the same old games or a brand new game? Would they rather watch a movie they’ve seen three times or a brand new film? Granted, some children are afraid of new things, but that reaction is only typical of kids who’ve experienced failure. Children have a natural curiosity and learning is immensely satisfying to them.

How can we apply this truth to improve our homeschools?

  • If your students aren’t motivated, consider that they may not be learning anything new. Completing workbook pages full of exercises on a topic you already understand is not motivating. Making mistakes on tests or quizzes doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t know the material; your kids just may not care to demonstrate proficiency in a subject that has become boring.
  • Try a curriculum that teaches new material or the old material in a new way. This flexibility is a huge advantage of homeschooling. Before committing financially, borrow materials from a homeschooling friend, check out books from a library or co-op, or surf the web to find new facts. If the test drive is effective, you may want to change your approach or decide to change things up on a regular basis.
  • Find information that is new to you. Excitement is contagious. My children enjoy history so much because they see how excited I get about it. If you use materials that you would read even if you didn’t have children, you’re moving in the right direction. My recommendation is that you share the material with your kids right away before the enthusiasm is gone. For example, if I learn something in my personal devotions that I am excited about, I will skip our Bible curriculum for the day and teach the new insight.
  • Allow your students to satisfy their curiosity. Stopping in the middle of a lesson to allow kids to watch videos on something that strikes their fancy can drive orderly homeschoolers nuts! But just as it’s my natural inclination to dig deeper into a subject in the moment, it’s our children’s too. Keep making progress in the curriculum, but allow for fascinating pit stops along the way.
  • Consider challenging your students. Sometimes the problem isn’t that the material isn’t new, but that it doesn’t push them out of their comfort zone. It’s new, but it’s too easy. I remember being in an honors writing course in second grade. The projects they expected us to complete seemed out of the realm of possibility. But because the teachers said I could do it, I gave it a shot and I remember the writing I did to this day.
  • Add a student to your classroom. Like a flock of chickens eating around you, a student who is hungry to learn will motivate your student to study, too. We have all kinds of toys and sports equipment at our house that lay dormant until another kid comes over to play. His or her interest in what there is to do motivates my children like no amount of encouragement from me. Even having a friend (or Dad!) take part in your school for a day can reignite a love for learning.
  • Have your students share what they’ve learned. When I learn something new, I can’t keep my mouth shut about it. Our students are the same way, but often don’t have the outlets for sharing that adults do. Consider having a sharing time at dinner with dad, calling or emailing Grandma every week, or creating a homeschool newsletter or blog. My children are also motivated to give reports for co-op or to teach the younger kids what they’ve learned.
  • Learn from your homeschool colleagues. One of my favorite things to do is talk to other homeschoolers about curriculum they love or subjects they’re studying. If you don’t regularly communicate with other homeschoolers about what you’re learning, may I commend it to you? With the web, we have so many opportunities to learn from one another.

What new information are you learning this year that can help you be a motivated homeschooler?

Photo Credit

 

How to Motivate Your Kids to Get Along

This is another question my friend who is new to homeschooling asked: how can you motivate your kids to get along?

Sure, we can avoid a lot of the bullying and teasing that goes on at school, but we may substitute more than enough sibling squabbling to make up for it. It can be such a problem that you feel you can’t take it anymore! (Don’t ask me how I know.) Here’s where you can take it:

  • Take it seriously. Sometimes our kids continue to fight physically or verbally because unlike many schools, we haven’t adopted a no tolerance policy. Let your children know that physical and verbal abuse have serious consequences in your home by promptly administering appropriate discipline.
  • Take it outside. A significant amount of squabbling is simply to gain your attention. Put the brawling brothers outside, in the bathroom, or anywhere uncomfortable until they work it out so both of them are satisfied.
  • Take it away. If a game or toy is the object of objection, remove it or the privilege of playing with it. Refuse to let your little attorneys approach the bench once you’ve made your decision.
  • Take it to Scripture. Remind your children of what the Bible has to say about their behavior and then ask them if they are in the right. Follow up by asking what they would have to do to make it right with their brother and with God.
  • Take it as training. Working on relationships with siblings is training for dealing with difficult relationships in the future. Rather than getting angry with your kids, realize that conflict resolution requires practice just like long division.
  • Take it to heart. Sometimes we need to listen for the heart issues involved in conflict and discuss them with our kids. Is little brother annoying you because you ignore him? Did your sister take your iPod because you hurt her feelings?
  • Take it for a time out. Sometimes things get so heated, that only a longer cooling off period will do. That goes for mom and dad, too!
  • Take it with a grain of salt. Sometimes we worry excessively about our children’s conflicts and inadvertently communicate that we don’t trust our children to grow in this area. When you see your child handle misbehavior well (for example, when a pet, a toddler, or a close friend hurts her and she doesn’t react in anger), emphasize your belief in your child’s self-control.
  • Take it to the Lord. God knows EXACTLY how you feel! It’s heart-breaking and exhausting to manage bickering children in addition to all our other roles. Pray for wisdom and for peace.

One of my favorite resources for addressing sibling rivalry includes excellent family devotions: Keep the Siblings, Lose the Rivalry.

 

Co-op Motivation

Somehow I don’t think I would have been motivated to re-enact the Revolutionary War on my own. But knowing that I had eight other children on their way to my house to do just that, got me going.

A co-op can be anything from taking turns teaching one another’s children, to formal classes, to families studying together. Here’s why I am a big fan of co-ops to boost motivation:

  • Accountability. There have been many times that the only reason I made sure we completed a paper or project was because I knew the other families would have it done. I like to teach writing to my friends’ kids because I know that writing won’t get put on the back burner. In the same way, teaching a literature class ensured that I got some classical reading done.
  • Friendship. Work doesn’t seem like work when you’re with a friend. Having time to talk with my homeschooling mom friends makes the activities worth the effort. The kids seem to feel the same way. What would be objected to outside of co-op is embraced within it.
  • Breaks. Workplace research demonstrates that rest breaks increase productivity. When I can pass the teaching responsibilities on to a competent friend, I am energized to resume teaching later. I have utilized a friend’s help in being solely responsible for teaching a biology lab co-op and have taken turns being responsible within our unit study co-op.
  • Numbers. There are some activities (like plays, speeches, and parties, for example) that just don’t seem worth doing with only our family. Sometimes more is better where motivation is concerned.
  • Memories. My children remember our co-op activities more than anything else they study and why wouldn’t they? We have taken incredible field trips, lived out history, and experimented together. While I love the learning, I treasure the time we have spent with friends who are really more like family.

I started a co-op by advertising for interested moms within our homeschool support group. If you think joining a co-op would make you a motivated homeschooler, start discussing the possibilities with homeschoolers you know.

 

A Thomas Jefferson Education

Next to my Ph.D. in psychology, this book is most responsible for my fascination with how to motivate children to learn. Although certainly not the first voice in asserting that our educational system is broken, nor the first to argue that a classical education is superior, Oliver Van DeMille may be the most influential in insisting that “all education is self-education.”

The most powerful point Mr. DeMille makes is that teaching a child or requiring a child to do lessons that he is not motivated to learn is an exercise in futility. While a student who is mandated to memorize something for a test may be able to give the correct answers when called upon to do so, this student hasn’t really been educated.

If Mr. DeMille is correct, the question then becomes, how can we motivate children to want to learn something for themselves? After all, we worry that our children may never want to learn math as much as they want to learn computer skills, for example. Some of the follow-up books to a TJEd give examples of how to motivate. A mother who wanted her children to learn to ice skate did not just sign them up for lessons as most of us parents are wont to do. Instead, she took them to watch figure skaters several times until the children begged for lessons. The lesson for us as home educators may be that we are trying to feed students who aren’t hungry.

My desire is to have students hungry to learn everything they need to know to fulfill the purposes God has for them. Many homeschoolers are quite interested in the TJEd philosophy and how they might implement it. Here is what it looks like in my home:

  • Emphasis on classic literature. I agree with Mr. DeMille that classics do more than just develop vocabulary; they can develop character, particularly if they are discussed in reference to a biblical worldview.
  • Permission for older students to choose their curriculum and study full-time. My oldest son is a perfect example of a student who studies for hours without requiring external motivation. He chooses his subjects and masters them, coming out of his office to share what he’s learning with his dad and me. My oldest is definitely a self-directed leader. However, I think  what TJEd doesn’t address is the personality differences that may prohibit this learning style from working with every student. My second oldest desires lots of structure rather than freedom, for example.
  • Parent education. TJEd suggests that parents study voraciously with a mentor while their children are doing so. While this kind of time commitment would never work for me as a mother of six (nor do I agree that it’s necessary), I have made a commitment to read more classic books along with my children so we can discuss them.
  • Emphasis on internal motivation. I don’t believe that finding ways to motivate your child means that you have to make everything fun. Some children aren’t as motivated by fun as they are by appreciation, money, or meeting goals. I find it fun, however, to discover what will get each child busy learning. I look forward to sharing many of my discoveries with you here in the future.
  • Supplementing with early requirements. TJEd like Unschooling in the extreme has nothing to do with workbooks or learning material that the child has no interest in. I, like most homeschoolers, feel uncomfortable with the exclusion of some required learning. I recently read something in our piano curriculum that resolved the tension for me. The author argued that we ought to require our children to learn the basics as children so that the tools are there when their internal motivation takes over. I had my oldest child take piano lessons for several years. He told me he wanted to quit and I had no problem letting him do so. I had asked for the same privilege from my mother as a child. A couple of years later, he became completely enamored with classical music. He told me he wanted to begin taking lessons again. As we tried to arrange that, he began practicing on his own. For hours. He became so skilled at playing that he quit asking about hiring an instructor. Had I not ensured that he had the basic capacity to play as a young child, he would not have been able to fulfill the passion for piano that he has today.

I highly recommend you give a TJEd a read. Even if you do not adopt the entire philosophy, I believe you will come away from reading feeling motivated to continue educating your children at home.

 

Welcome! I pray that you will leave here motivated to get school done (while still having fun). Because that's also my goal as a busy mom of six, I'm committed to updating this blog weekly. Thanks for sharing the resources here with others and motivating me with comments. You're a blessing! 

Dr. Melanie Wilson
 

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